Moving and Your Parents

Ayla PR Representative with Moving Made Smooth, Inc.

Moving Back in with your Parents
​Moving can be a stressful time for anyone, but it can be made more difficult by the embarrassment you may feel. Moving back in with your parents is usually a financial decision that can come from divorce, loss of employment, or amassed debt. You might be feeling like a failure or that you're letting your parents down, but many times parents like to help their children, see it as another chance to forge a close relationship to their child, or are looking forward to having help around the house. Try to see it as a mutually beneficial situation and chip in wherever you can.

It is important to know the ground rules of living back home. If your parents would like to know if you're going to be late for dinner, be sure to call them. Be aware that parents are sometimes prone to falling back into their old routines. If they start treating you like you're a teenager all over again, one of two things is wrong. Either you are behaving like a naughty teenager; leaving your dirty clothes for mom to wash, sitting watching cable all day, and skipping out on chores any chance you get. Then, you're the problem and you should put in some effort. Or your parents haven't gotten used to the idea that you're an adult and are capable of making wise decisions on your own. In this case, you may want to sit down with your parents and be more specific on your boundaries.
​
Spend quality time with your parents. Doing activities with them can help to create a relationship that feels less like a tenant living in their house and more like a roommate. You want to keep a balanced relationship. Don't spend too many nights out and set aside time for them.

Parents Moving in with You
There comes a time in almost every person's life where they become too frail to manage their home alone. This is usually when their children begin to consider how they are going to care for their parents. Sometimes their children decide that the best way to care for their parents is to have them move in with the family. Their care is sometimes performed with the help of in-home nurses or by the family itself.Care should be taken to make the transition easy on your parents. The loss of their independence can be devastating, but there are also many things that can help them look forward to it and feel important.

• They can spend more time with their grandchildren. Grandparents often have loads of affection for the youngest generation in their family. You can help by setting aside days in your kid's schedules to spend an afternoon with Grandma. Or try involving them in family outings or events.
  
• Have your parents help you where they can. This is a great way to make them feel like less of a burden and give them value. Ask them advice. They often have 20+ years more life experience than you and may know many things about relationships, gardening, remodeling houses, cars, or any number of other subjects. This can also lead to bonding experiences, too. Let grandma help with dinner. Some of the best times I can remember in my family were days where it was 'all-hands-on-deck' in the kitchen.
  
• Keep them involved. Let them have a say in major decisions around the household and listen to their input. Nobody likes to feel like their opinion doesn't matter. Have open discussions with them and they will feel like they have an important role in their family.

Moving into a Nursing Home
Making the decision to move an elderly family member into a nursing home or independent living facility can be one of the more challenging decisions of a person's adult life and can be stressful for everyone involved.

• Try to explain your situation. If you have a busy career and can't be home to give them the proper care, let them know. Be understanding of their situation and try to avoid stubbornness in your attitude. They are a person with feelings too, hear them out.
• Try to frame it as a possibility for new adventure in their life. Maybe they will meet new friends or have a chat with a handsome widower. Possibly the center has activities that appeal to them like swimming or crafts.
• Their biggest fear is being left there alone. Tell them that you will come to visit them on a schedule and keep the promise. Seniors can feel incredibly lonely if you don't visit them enough. Show them some love and that they are an important part of your life!